Attracting the Wrong Fit?

Building a business an be really hard and at times you become aware of new problems but you don't quite know how to solve them yet. So conversations with others who may have already gone through the process and solved it an be more precious than gold.

Below is the a conversation that opened my eyes.

Ovando:My company has reached a point where it’s become successful enough that it’s attracting people who are completely outside our target market.

They don’t really resonate with our values or aims. A lot of them seem to come simply because they want somewhere for their children to jump around, but what we actually do is serious training.

The behaviours that many children already have before they arrive — lack of focus, poor discipline, inability to listen properly — are often exactly the things we’re trying to help improve.

The difficult part is that I can usually see the problem very clearly and know how to address it, but the parents often become annoyed when I do because they don’t even recognise the behaviour as an issue in the first place.

And on top of that, they don’t fully understand what our organisation actually is.

Elias:What you’re describing is actually something that happens to a lot of organisations once they become respected.

At first, your company probably attracted mainly people who deeply understood and aligned with the culture.

But success changes visibility.

Once an organisation develops a reputation, it starts attracting people for many different reasons:

• status,

• aspiration,

• convenience,

• social influence,

• or simply because they’ve heard it’s “good.”

The problem is that not everyone who is attracted to a serious environment is actually prepared for what that environment requires.

Ovando:The interesting thing is that we already have a vetting process before people join.

We clearly explain:

• what we do,

• what we don’t do,

• how we differ from other organisations,

• and the kind of environment we’re trying to build.

But I’ve started to realise that some people seem to get through the process by simply saying what they think we want to hear.

I actually think they care more about joining than they do about truly understanding whether the environment aligns with their goals.

In fact, some of them may not even realise that they have goals.

Elias:I think that’s probably true.

Most people don’t consciously think in terms of values, developmental philosophy, or long-term character building.

When parents hear words like:

• discipline,

• resilience,

• confidence,

• responsibility,

they almost automatically say:

“Yes, of course we want that.”

But often they’re responding to the idea of those things, not necessarily the process required to develop them.

They want:

• confidence without discomfort,

• resilience without struggle,

• discipline without correction,

• progress without frustration.

The contradiction only appears later, once real training begins.

Ovando:That’s exactly what it feels like.

Sometimes it’s almost as if people want the identity associated with a serious environment more than they want the actual experience of being in one.

Elias:Yes. And that’s a very important distinction.

This happens in many high-standard environments:

• martial arts schools,

• elite sports clubs,

• specialist academies,

• military training,

• even strong educational institutions.

People are often drawn to what the environment represents.

They admire:

• the discipline,

• the confidence,

• the structure,

• the reputation,

• the culture.

  
  

But admiration and alignment are not the same thing.

A family may genuinely love the idea of serious training right up until:

• their child is corrected,

• standards are enforced,

• boundaries appear,

• or accountability becomes uncomfortable.

  
  

That’s often the moment when the mismatch finally reveals itself.

Ovando:So maybe the issue isn’t that we failed to explain ourselves clearly.

Elias:Exactly.

It sounds like your explanations are already very clear.

The deeper issue is that alignment cannot always be determined through conversation alone.

People often answer aspirationally.

They answer as the version of themselves they hope to be.

That means some forms of cultural mismatch only become visible through experience:

• when pressure appears,

• when standards are tested,

• when discomfort enters the process,

• when responsibility is expected.

  
  

In other words, some people can only discover whether they truly belong in the environment after they’ve already entered it.

Ovando:That actually changes how I see the whole situation.

Because I’ve been treating it as though the problem was communication or misunderstanding.

But maybe it’s more about the reality of maintaining culture as an organisation grows.

Elias:I think that’s exactly what it is.

And there’s something important to understand here:

Protecting a healthy culture is not the same as being exclusive or unfriendly.

Every strong environment eventually has to decide what it wants to preserve.

Because once standards begin dissolving to accommodate misalignment, the very thing that made the organisation valuable in the first place slowly disappears.

The goal is not to reject people.

The goal is:

• to attract aligned families,

• educate uncertain families,

• and recognise when something simply may not be the right fit.

That’s not negativity.

That’s stewardship.